Approximately 5 years ago, the author of this article went through a divorce. The cost of those proceedings forced me to cut products and services that weren’t absolutely necessary. Out went visits to the movie theater, fast food restaurants, the internet, landline telephone service, and the costliest of those services cable television. Over the air television signals in the area I lived at the time wasn’t very good. Most stations were nothing but static and snow with sound occasionally being audible. Therefore, I stopped watching television. In its place went other activities such as reading, exercise, guitar playing and family visits. Though I was able to recover from the financial strain of the divorce, the activities that had taken the place of television watching were entrenched so I never requested cable service again and therefore television remained (and still remains to a certain extent) nonexistent in my life.

Fast forward a few years and an announcement was made that television signals received through antennas were to be converted to digital on February 19, 2009 and all television units that received the analog signals which is how they were sent since television’s inception were going to need converter boxes or cable / satellite service. The remaining option for consumers who choose not to pay for cable or satellite or who choose not to purchase a converter box is to buy a new unit. I decided to do neither since television is no longer an important factor in my day. About a year after that announcement was made, I moved to a location about 40 miles away from where I couldn’t receive a decent signal and the signal in my new place of residence was substantially better. So I started watching television again on a limited bases. It was mostly the local news programs and sitcom reruns.

One of the shows that I never liked during its initial run on network television is “Everybody Loves Raymond”. I recall watching 2, maybe 3, episodes because it was getting positive word of mouth yet it never hit home with me. The show didn’t connect with me nor I to it. Now it’s a sitcom so it wasn’t important enough to examine the reasons I didn’t enjoy the show. But when I started turning on the television again, that was one of the first shows (now in reruns) that I watched. Again, I found myself not enjoying the show whatsoever but this time there was something about it that bugged me. Yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. I have a lot free time on my hand these days and the “bug” that was placed in my mind by the show was feeding on something and grew. And it continued to grow until I decided to watch a few more episodes. A light switch was activated. Two episodes later and the problem I had with the show became readily apparent.

I was born in the late 1960s. The sitcoms that I recall from my youth and still to this day would enjoy were “Happy Days”, “Good Times”, Sandford and Son”, “All in the Family”, “The Jeffersons”, “The Brady Bunch” (yeah, I said it! And?) and “I Love Lucy”. During my youth, I just watched television because it was on. Family, environment, school and your own unique genes are the most important factors in determining who you are and what you become. However, just like music has the capacity to shape a youth in certain ways, so do sitcoms. How you ask? It’s nothing I consider important. But I simply believe the sitcoms I watched during my youth shaped how I view sitcoms as an adult.

One of my closest friends is a guy who enjoys “Everybody Loves Raymond” and it was he along with a few others (friends, family, coworkers, etc…) that persuaded me to watch the show during it’s initial run. So when I learned the reason that I didn’t like the show, it was he with whom I first shared the reason for my distaste.

If you’ve seen any of the aforementioned sitcoms of my youth, you may recognize that the men who were husbands in those shows have a certain “something” in common. And that “something” is that they were men. Real men.

The term “real” as it relates to humans now days in pop culture takes on a variety of meanings. I’ve heard women use the term to indicate that because they’re fat, they’re somehow are more “real” than other women who either take care of themselves or have a naturally high metabolism. A typical personals ad title will read “Real Woman With Curves Seeks Man Who Appreciates A Real Woman With Curves”. Men (read: black men) typically use the term to indicate that poor English with a ghetto mentality means they’re somehow more “real” than a black man with an education living in the suburbs. You may have heard young ballers saying Allen Iverson keeps it real because of the way he speaks, choice of hair styles and arms painted with tattoos but you’d never hear the term uttered for Shane Battier. Vince Carter, who chose to attend his own graduation in the middle of a playoff series, typically gets a pass because he has “hops”.

It was via a yahoo chat session that I gave the reason for not liking “Everybody Loves Raymond” (except me!) to my buddy. That reason is because, with few exceptions, I find it difficult to watch a sitcom where the main character is a male who’s completely emasculated by his significant other. Therefore, the term “real man” as used in this article simply means a man who’s either married or in a long standing relationship in a sitcom who doesn’t walk on eggshells in his own home. What I found interesting was his response to my discovery. He said “but I thought that’s how all sitcoms are now days”. Whoa!

I was taken aback. Then I gave it some thought. Many of the fairly recent sitcoms (early 1990’s to mid 2000s) with which I’m familiar started running through my mind. Let’s see if any of the husbands or men in long standing relationships pass the “Real Man” test.

“The King of Queens” (starring Kevin James and Leah Remini)? Fail. Reason: Husband was routinely beaten down verbally by his wife.

“Still Standning” (Jamie Gertz and Mark Addy)? Fail. Reason: Though he shared many of the same traits of what we typically call bad parents with his wife, whenever she wanted her way, she got it.

“Seinfeld” (Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander and Michael Richards)? Fail! Reason: George, who held a long standing relationship after he proposed in season 7, was in many ways afraid of Susan.

“Mad About You” (Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt)? Fail. Reason: The episode where the husband wanted to keep his beard but was told no by wife who insinuated that she’d withhold sex to get her way (and it worked!) comes to mind.

“According To Jim” (Jim Belusi and Courtney Thorne-Smith)? Fail. Reason: The husband is always wrong about everything!

“The Jeff Foxworthy Show” (Jeff Foxworthy and Anita Barone)? Fail. Reason: If the wife gave her husband that one eyebrowed lifted stare, he’d acquiesce.

“Married With Children” (Ed O’Neill and Katey Sagal)? Fail: Al Bundy, the bread winner, never spent a dime of the money (no matter how little) he made unless it was on something bought for his wife Peggy.

Since I’m batting a thousand here (or zero depending on how it’s viewed), I challenge anyone to name a sitcom that had its initial run started on or after 1990 where the man, who’s the main or an important supporting character, was at least an equal partner in the relationship with his wife or significant other. If it’s a sitcom with which I’m not familiar, I’ll find an episode to watch and I guarantee that he doesn’t qualify as a “real man”.

Now before anyone (ladies) takes this too seriously, this is not a diatribe about how recent and current sitcoms is a direct reflection on men in real life and society. I don’t know what goes on in anyone’s home other than mine and I’m not married. I don’t think all real life men, husbands or otherwise, are emasculated by the women in their lives. This is simply something I noticed about sitcoms.

But I will ask this question. As we prepare to make the switch over to digital television (now delayed until June 12, 2009), at what point did situation comedy television make the switch to emasculated men? And more importantly for me, will we ever return the glory days of the “real men” of television sitcoms?